Since moving out to Colorado, I’ve had plans to keep a journal of sorts – to document my daily thoughts, actions, feelings, revelations, ups, downs, moods and everything and anything in between. Well, after two months (exactly) of being out here, I finally reached deep enough within myself to squeeze out the motivation to sit in front of my computer and begin this “project” as I’ll call it. I will admit that it’s come with a little bit of frustration. What should I write about? What do people want to read? What kind of tone – serious, humorous, nostalgic- should it possess ? Maybe it should just be a stream-of-consciousness? Maybe I’ll just post pictures? I still am not sure.
I do know that I’ve been spending my time lately revisiting the works of Thoreau (I received a batch of books from some hippie lady at what I’ll call a “stoner’s dream of a restaurant” down the road – they sell everything from tacos to salt water taffy, to egg sandwiches to fried creamed corn something-or others. I’ll admit, it’s all delicious, despite the painstaking hours it takes me to finally settle on what to order), and I considered some transcendental-I finally have a greater scope of the world-becoming one with nature-Coloradan perspective, but then I had to remind myself of a few things: I work at a YMCA. In reality, I am not some naturalist-tree hugging-quarter-life crisis having (ok, maybe I am suffering from a mild case of early-twenties confusion) lost soul, who’s decided to live a hermit’s life in a cabin in a quest for self-discovery. I work as a lifeguard, meaning I maintain the same position that 16-year-old high school jocks hold as a summer job in order to keep the car that Mom and Dad bought filled with gas…but I’d like to think I do so without suffering from the common “power trip” syndrome that is so common among such individuals. I also use an overwhelming amount of hyphens in my writing apparently, but I’m going to let them slide because I don’t feel like going back to make everything grammatically sound. Sorry.
Anyway, I guess what I’m trying to say is that I am not quite sure where all of this is headed, and I’ve developed the same sort of attitude in the way I look at my life. I’m just going to let both unfold naturally, and take everything as it comes. For years I’ve spent too much time and energy stressing over where I’ve been and where I’m going, and not enough on where I am. Well, today marks the start of change. Feel free to follow along, and if nothing else, maybe my friends and family will simply be able to keep up with me and my life.
…Or maybe I’ll just become that tree-hugging tent-dweller who survives off of books and miscellaneous munchies from the woman down the road. We’ll see.